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Biological, adopted children make this family a dozen
By MARY MARAGHY, My Clay Sun
Jul 24, 2008
The fun begins when the Candelarias arrive.
"There's always someone to play with," said 9-year-old Jack, son of Eileen and Dan Candelaria of OakLeaf.
The couple has 10 children ages 4 to 18 - four biological and six adopted since 2002.
The dynamic dozen is moving out-of-state in August because Dan, a pilot, was offered a higher paying job. Eileen, a Jacksonville social worker who resigned June 30, will be a stay-at-home mom in the family's new home - twice the size of their Clay County digs.
"They will be missed. Eileen has done a ton to help foster parents and children in this area. She was always on top of things," said veteran foster parent Melisa Page-Bailie of Avondale, also mother of 10 children.
With a laugh, Page-Bailie called the Candelaria family an instant party, but she didn't invite them over because that meant 20 children running around. Vice versa for the Candelarias.
Court officials said Eileen Candelaria has left an impressive mark on North Florida, as she fought to protect children as a guardian ad litem and a case manager for Jacksonville Circuit Judge Waddell Wallace in Duval County's unified family court.
"We miss her already. She made me work harder, look deeper. She was almost like a conscience," Wallace said. "What a remarkably competent woman, with a gift for sensing problems and doggedly pursuing them.
"She had an amazing passion for children, high morals and high expectations. She humbled me," he said.
Janet Bahn, Wallace's judicial assistant, agreed.
"She's the kind of person you run across once in a lifetime," she said. "She always had a positive outlook and she affected everyone she met."
Meanwhile, the Candelarias, as a couple, are a child welfare dream come true.
"We wish we had more people who would open their hearts and their homes like they have," said Susan Bell, regional program manager for the state Department of Children and Families.
Eileen said she and her family strive to set a Godly example.
"You only live once. We want to make it count to make God happy," she said. "I want my legacy to be that we gave to others and advocated for the weak."
She hopes to mentor foster/adoptive parents in her new locale, which the family declined to name for security reasons.
"Everybody deserves a childhood, a place to call home, a person to call mom, someone to help with college, a father to walk her down the aisle, a mom to be there when she has her first baby," she said.
Here's how her journey has unfolded.
In 2002, with four children of her own - Emily, Daniel, Jack and Julia - Eileen decided she was pretty good at parenting. She decided to lend her talent to society by becoming a foster parent.
After two years of praying and waiting, she said, her husband, Dan, agreed to take the required course and get licensed. Soon after that, there was a major Jacksonville area narcotics bust. The baby of a jailed drug lord was placed with Candelarias.
"Dan came home from work to this baby he'd never seen, scooped him up and that child melted into his chest," she said. "He's 6-foot 6 and his huge hand surrounded this baby's head. He wanted to protect him."
Dan was sold.
"I realized these are children, regardless," he said. "All children need leadership, love, some sort of structure and nurturing."
Eileen had a more detached method.
"It was a challenge for me. I was simply doing this for the community. I could help re-pattern a neglected child, help catch them up to speed," she said. "It was like baby sitting. I could remain [emotionally] removed."
After all, she was tough.
Working as a child welfare investigator in Tampa, she had wormed confessions from child molesters and neglectful parents. She physically carried screaming children out of their abusive homes. And she was keeping strict boundaries: she would only accept infants.
That changed in 2004 when she was asked to bring home a foster baby from Wolfson Children's Hospital. The infant had been removed from her home due to neglect and had been hospitalized for pneumonia. At the hospital, Eileen saw Page-Bailie, a friend and veteran foster parent whose 14-year-old adopted daughter, Jessi, also was a patient at Wolfson, dying from a blood disorder.
Page-Bailie asked Eileen to show the foster baby to Jessi.
From her hospital bed, Jessi examined the baby from head to toe for a long time, Eileen recalled, starting to cry. Then Jessi told her mother, with tears in her eyes, to never stop caring for children in need.
"After Jessi's funeral, my rules changed," Candelaria said. "Whoever God brings to me, I will take in."
She then adopted six children with abusive pasts. Each took a new name to symbolize a new start, an escape from a painful past. They include Kristina, the foster baby from Wolfson, who is now four years old. Then there is Joseph, a 9-year-old who is researching steps to become a U.S. president. Then Lauren, Megan and Jacquelin, sisters who were separated in foster care and are now so happy to be together.
"It's wonderful to know that you are born from the heart and not the stomach," said 7-year-old Lauren.
Then came Hailey, a child with cerebral palsy who suffered abuse in a foster home.
"Of all the kids in the court system, she chose me," said 10-year-old Hailey. "It's great to have a mom, dad and a big family to love you."
Clay County foster care facts - Clay County has 45 foster homes, the goal is 60 - About 15 foster parents drop out each year - Currently there are 117 children in foster care, 40 percent are teens - Foster parents may choose the age and sex of child; hardest to place are teens and sibling groups - The next training session for potential foster/adoptive parents begins 7 p.m. Sept. 18 at St. Catherine's Catholic Church, 1649 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park. 278-5644, ext. 2043 or 2007 Source: Clay & Baker Kids Net
Eileen Candelaria's thoughts on adopting foster children:
"It's the right thing to do. Think it through." - "We only live once, make it count." - "You can fall in love with a child of any age. After all, you didn't meet your spouse as an infant." - "Foster children are victims, not delinquents. They can be healed and repaired."
Financial benefits of adoption:
Children are insured for free through Medicaid through age 18 - Children get a waiver to attend an in-state college or vocational school for free - Children receive federal monthly subsidies, averaging at $300, depending on need - Adoptive parent gets a $10,000, one-time tax credit - State employees and teachers who adopt can qualify for a one-time $10,000 bonus, per child Source: Florida Department of Children and Families
Copyright 2008
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